


Love You

by penpenguin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penpenguin/pseuds/penpenguin
Summary: Three times Bucky couldn’t bring himself to do anything and the one time he finally did.My take on the 'x times they didn't and the one time they did' fanfic. Hope you enjoy!





	Love You

 

Bucky stood outside Miss Kinney’s precalculus class, waiting for his best friend to emerge from the room. He fiddled with the zipper on his bag, running the question in his mind repeatedly.

_Wanna go see a movie, Stevie?_

_How about dinner this weekend?_

_Wanna go dancing tonight?_

He could ask any number of ways, and over half of them Bucky knew Steve wouldn’t see as out of the norm, no matter how desperately Bucky wanted Steve to see him as something else. But Steve didn’t feel that way, because he wouldn’t, he’s too upstanding to like his guy best friend like that, so Bucky shouldn’t pressure him into spending any extra time with him that Steve didn’t outright ask for.

Steve stepped out of the room, and Bucky walked with him out of the building, matching his excited pace. Recounting what he’d learned, something about trigonometry, Steve complained about class but he at least got to do some drawing in the margins of his notes. In all honesty, the words hanging in Bucky’s mind preoccupied him and he didn’t hear much of Steve’s excited chatter.

They made their way to Steve’s place, their shoulders brushing against each other as they turned corners, and Bucky had a nearly irresistible urge to slip Steve’s hand into his own. He let his fingers brush against Steve’s knuckles, finding the contact thrilling.

“And I heard that for students, the tickets will be half price! So, wanna go see a movie with me tomorrow, Buck?”

* * *

 “Happy birthday, Stevie,” Bucky sighed, standing on the roof of their building and holding out his gift. He’d wrapped it in newspaper, as that was all he could afford, but Bucky hoped that Steve would like it regardless.

The glaring heat of the day had given way to a beautiful night, and Bucky couldn’t have been happier.

“A new sketchbook? And watercolors? Thank you so much!” Steve threw his arms around Bucky.

He felt his cheeks redden, and Bucky silently cursed himself for no longer being able to innocently appreciate Steve’s hugs. But it was okay, and Bucky would deal with it as long as it meant that his friendship with Steve was steady.

A loud explosion behind them brought Bucky back to reality, as did the frantic squeeze Steve gave him in surprise.

“Oh! Fireworks!” Steve exclaimed. In the flashes of light, Bucky could see Steve’s eyes bright with life, exactly as he hoped he’d always be able to see them.

They laid together on the roof, looking up at the dark sky, faces periodically illuminated by the explosions. Steve watched the fireworks, and Bucky did too, but he more often stole glances of Steve in the light.

Steve shifted a little, enough for their shoulders to brush, and Bucky’s breath hitched. He’d been getting better about hiding his feelings- it was enough that Steve’s scrawny figure screamed at bullies looking for a target; they didn’t need Bucky’s hopeless crush on him to be painted on as an additional target.

He could settle for being friends. Best friends.

* * *

“I got a double date for us, pal!” Bucky sat down next to his best friend on the couch. It hurt him to have to watch his friend go on dates with girls and without him, but trying to make him happy from the sidelines would have to do.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Steve asked with a half smile.

Bucky knew full well that Steve wasn’t talking about his own date, but figured he’d flatter his best friend anyway.

“Well, her name’s Annie, she’s full of personality, and she’s got these lovely blue eyes. I think she’ll get on with you just swell.” Bucky described the girl he hoped would be good enough for Steve. Most turned their backs immediately, or worse, grimaced and went through with the date, but Steve could tell their hearts weren’t in it.

“Sounds nice.” Steve said, though his voice seemed to fall a little flat.

“Why so glum all of a sudden? Don’t wanna go dancing?” Bucky asked, worried that he’d done something wrong.

“Well, Buck, I really like going with these girls, I really do, but I still don’t know how to dance.” Steve sighed, eyes downcast. “I don’t have the skill you do. I’ve got three left feet.”

“We can fix that, Stevie.” Bucky turned on the radio to his left and found a station playing slow jazz. He stood up and offered his friend his hand. “I can teach ya.”

As soon as Steve put his small hand in Bucky’s, Bucky knew he’d be treading on thin ice holding Steve so close, but he couldn’t resist the perfect opportunity. He placed Steve’s hand on his shoulder and his own on the small of Steve’s back, taking Steve’s other hand and lacing their fingers.

“I’ll lead first, then you can try your hand,” Bucky said, leaning in close to his friend, to where his lips nearly brushed Steve’s ear as he spoke. “Just step with me, and sway to the music.”

They began to move, Bucky leading them in a small circle around the room. A couple of times Steve stumbled, and apologized profusely, but Bucky could only focus on feeling the sparks Steve’s touch sent through his body. His breath hitched as Steve rested his head against Bucky’s shoulder, and Bucky hoped against hope that Steve couldn’t feel his pulse jumping. He bit his lower lip, milking the dance for all he could before interrupting it.

“Your turn to lead, if you’d like.” Bucky whispered, and even he could hear the way his voice dropped an octave when he was so close to Steve.

Steve nodded, moving his hand so it instead rested low on Bucky’s back, sending warmth tingling up Bucky’s spine. Bucky raised his hand to Steve’s shoulder, letting Steve start to lead them around the room.

“Is this alright?” Steve asked, the worry clear in his voice.

“Perfect, Stevie. Just enjoy the music and let the dancing work itself out. The girls love it the smoother you are.” Bucky advised.

They made their way around the room again as the song softened and finished.

“One last thing, Stevie.” Bucky quickly switched their hands so he held Steve’s back once again. “The girls love when you do this.”

He let Steve slip back into a dip, then lifted him up and pulled him in close.

Bucky’s mind kicked into overdrive. Their noses were almost touching, and nothing technically was stopping Bucky from pressing his lips against his best friend’s. He began to lean in, and almost let his eyes drift closed, when an upbeat trumpet cut through their moment as the next song began.

“So, uh, there you have it. Dancing 101.” Bucky let go of Steve brusquely and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do that and you’ll have dames all over you.”

“Thank you, Buck.” Steve spoke quietly, his voice little more than a whisper.

“Of course, you’re my best... pal.” Bucky sighed inwardly at his word choice. He didn’t want to go too far and ruin his friendship, after all, Steve was the best thing to happen to him. “I’d do anything for ya.”

* * *

“Stevie, congrats!” Bucky watched Steve’s eyes glimmering with pride.

Steve held the acceptance letter triumphantly as Bucky picked him up in a massive hug and twirled him around before putting him down. Bucky’s heart skipped when he realized exactly what he’d done, but Steve’s resulting grin rivaled the brightness of the sun. Worth it.

In the euphoria of the moment, Bucky let his joy get the best of him and he pressed his lips against his best friend’s. For a second, Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut and he let himself enjoy his forbidden fantasy.

One where Steve loved him back, where they could live together as more-than-friends, and Bucky could stop going on those god-awful dates with girls he didn’t really have his heart in. Images flashed through his mind, imagining what live would be if he could slip Steve’s hand in his, if he could kiss him good morning, if-

Bucky recoiled, realizing what exactly he’d done, and saw Steve looking at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

“Oh, fuck. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.” Bucky muttered, his mind racing. He’d made it so long, without letting anything slip, just to ruin it with a stupid kiss. He had it so good, living with his best friend, seeing him every day. Bucky would live the rest of his life pining for Steve if it meant he at least got to spend it with him.

“Uh. I’ll, uh, just, I’ll just go.” Bucky’s voice sounded more like a frightened whisper than anything else, as he descended into panic.

He quickly turned away from Steve and made his way out of the apartment, taking one last glance at his best friend, who had yet to move from his place.


End file.
